Avenging The "Nerds"

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, a “nerd” is: a person who behaves awkwardly around other people and usually has unstylish clothes, hair, etc.; an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person. And for decades, film and television has held steady to this belief, giving us some iconic nerdy characters. In the 60s, we got Barney Fife on “The Andy Griffith Show”.

In the 70s, we were treated to Roger ‘Raj’ Thomas on “What’s Happening?”, Arnold Horshack on “Welcome Back, Kotter”, and character actor Eddie Deezen beginning his 70s-80s reign as King of the Nerds in the popular musical “Grease”.

What these characters, and thus, actors, all had in common were their looks. Their respective shows and movies helped “nerdy them up”, but in real life, these men were far from the “norm” for film and television actors. While no one would rush to call them “ugly”, they were far from the heartthrobs that girls would go mad over. When it came to finding nerdy characters, the audience got exactly that. And it didn’t stop with the guys, as we got our ultimate female nerd of the decade in Sissy Spacek, playing Carrie White in “Carrie”.

In the 80s, nerds became even more prevalent in film and television. In fact, one might even call the 80s “Decade of the Nerds”. They were EVERYWHERE. And, as with the above decades, we got the prototypical (or even stereotypical) nerd: tall, gangly, thin, braces, glasses, pocket protectors, and socially inept. On “Saved By The Bell”, we got Screech and his girlfriend Violet.

Patrick Dempsey in "Can't Buy Me Love".

Corey Haim before he hit puberty in “Lucas”.

Martha Plimpton in “The Goonies”.

The cast of "Revenge of the Nerds".

The girls of "Square Pegs".

And anything Anthony Michael Hall did in the 80s. Again, as with the previous decades, none of these people could be considered ugly…they just weren’t the Tiger Beat pin-ups of their other actor counterparts.

Then…a sudden, subtle shift occurred with the 90s. The actors that Hollywood started to hire to play nerds weren’t quite so…ordinary-looking. While the actors mentioned above were given make-unders to appear as nerdy as possible on screen, the 90s brought more of a make-over feel to situation. Two prime examples are the characters of Steve Urkel on “Family Matters” and Dwayne Wayne on “A Different World.”

Early on, the actors (Jaleel White and Kadeem Hardison, respectively) were young enough to play nerdy well, as neither could be considered heartthrobs off camera. Then, as they got older, the producers realized they actually had “pleasing-to-the-eye” gentlemen on their hands, and each show quickly made changes to show that. “Family Matters” introduced Urkel’s suave and sleek doppelganger Stefan Urquelle, while “A Different World” gave Dwayne a beautiful girlfriend in Whitley Gilbert, as well as ditched his more nerdy attire. This is how shows SHOULD handle this kind of thing.

However, by the mid-90s, all sense flew out of the window, and a new regime began: pretty people wearing glasses and baggy clothing to appear nerdy, then getting a make-over during the film or TV show to turn them, magically, from the ugly duckling to the beautiful swan. While this movie may not necessarily be the one that started the trend, it’s definitely the one people remember the most: “She’s All That”.

(Yes, there’s a movie from the 80s called “She’s Out Of Control” starring Amy Dolenz that had a similar plot about a nerdy girl who blossoms into a beautiful teen over night, but the make-up artist on that production REALLY nerded-up Amy Dolenz.) In “She’s All That”, Rachael Leigh Cook was “cute” as a nerd…then “hot” after her make-over.

The biggest offender from the 90s, aside from “She’s All That”, was a television series from the brain of Ryan Murphy called “Popular”. The show was about two groups of kids…the popular crowd, and the unpopular crowd…going after each other relentlessly. Now, on paper, this sounds like a great idea that could really pop with the right actors.

The problem? The unpopular kids were just as attractive as the popular kids. Case in point: Carly Pope and Tamara Mello. Are you telling me these two beautiful girls are really going to be unpopular in real life?

At the same time, the show gave us two of the nerdiest characters to ever grace our screens: Emory Dick and April Tuna.

So how can a show be that off the mark, yet be so on the mark at the same time? Well, years later, we’ve all stopped trying to make sense of the decisions Ryan Murphy makes.

However, not all hope was lost. The 90s still gave us the more iconic nerds in: the Shermanator from the “American Pie” series...

Andrew and Jonathan from “Buffy, The Vampire Slayer”...

Jason Schwartzman in “Rushmore”...

...and Charlie Korsmo in “Can’t Hardly Wait”.

Then the 2000s hit, and it appeared like the world got a “Nerd Reset” with the characters from “Napoleon Dynamite”...

“Ghost World”...

“Superbad”...

...and “Big Bang Theory”.

However, another shift in casting pretty people as nerds happened in the early 2000s, when we were treated to Adam Brody’s character on “The O.C.” who, while not a poster boy like Chris Carmack’s character on the show, was dubbed the new term “adorkable”: while he may not be “hot”, the girls wouldn’t throw him out of their beds, either.

Then there was Allison Mack’s character on “Smallville”, a “bookish girl who ran the school newspaper”. She wasn’t popular…but she wasn’t unpopular either. And there isn’t a chance in hell that girl wouldn’t have gotten a boyfriend quite easily. But it was late in the 2000s, up to present, when the senses that left the studio execs in the 90s were buried six feet under in a cement coffin, when it came to casting nerd characters. It’s gotten so bad that one must re-read TV show and movie premises to make sure they read it right to begin with…because this next crop of actors and actresses look more like Abercrombie and Fitch models than nerds.

For instance, let’s take Zachary Levi from “Chuck”. This “nerd” is supposed to be a bumbling, semi-attractive guy who works in a Geek Squad-like part of a corporation that’s clearly aping Best Buy. Now, does this man look like a nerd to you? I haven’t met one female who didn’t swoon and go glassy-eyed at the mention of this man’s name. That’s a long way from Screech, right? Just because NBC kept him clean-shaven, grew out his hair, and put him in nerdy dress attire didn’t change the fact that this man is attractive.

While the Big 4 networks haven’t been that bad with “hot people as nerds”, the younger-skewing networks (MTV, The CW, ABC Family) are outrageously ridiculous with this issue. First up is “Jane By Design”, which lasted only one season because of poor ratings. I’d like to believe it was because it suffered from the most ridiculous casting ever known to man. Meet Erica Dasher, the lead of the series. This is what she looks like on the show.

This is what she looks like “dolled up”. Did I mention that her character was an unpopular, bookish/nerdy character? But wait! It gets better!

So, this is the guy she’s in love with: the “hot guy”.

This is her “nerdy/outcast” best friend she also has feelings for.

This is what the nerdy/outcast looks like half naked. I don’t think the character was losing much sleep over which dude to choose…and the audience might have had enough and called shenanigans on this b.s., too. They were trying to go for “Pretty In Pink”, but ended up with a “Sixteen Candles” where both guys were effing Jake Ryan.

On “Arrow”, we’re supposed to believe that Emily Brett Rickards, who’s playing the nerdy lab assistant Felicity Smoak, is supposed to be less attractive because she wears glasses.

(F.Y.I. This is who she's supposed to be less attractive than. Like with "Jane By Design", I don't think Arrow is losing sleep over which of these beauts to date...

Then there’s “Pretty Little Liars”, which is a conundrum in and of itself. A show where teen girls sleep with older men with no consequences…has the largest lesbian population for a small town of 100 people…and has an odd “nerd problem”. See, here’s Brendan Robinson, who plays nerdy Lucas. His character mysteriously stopped getting air time…probably because he was the most “unattractive” person on the show.

Now meet Brandon W. Jones, who plays nerdy Andrew. I know what you’re thinking: there’s something not quite right with that jawline that jives with “nerd”. But, he’s wearing glasses! Nerds wear glasses!

Well, here’s the “nerd” later in the episode…sans glasses. PLL has its own Clark Kent! Oh, and remember a couple of paragraphs back when I joked that these new nerds look more like Abercrombie and Fitch models? He’s a former one in real life, natch.

On MTV’s “Awkward”, this is nerdy/unpopular Jenna, as played by Ashley Rickards. Not so nerdy, right?

Then there’s “Teen Wolf” actor Tyler Posey. His character, Scott, was an unpopular kid who hung with the nerdy Stiles.

This is Stiles. Do either of these guys look like they're hurting for female company? No. And this is why no one takes MTV seriously.

This is Jane Levy from "Suburgatory". Her character is a plain Jane (pun intended), book smart, nerdy outcast. I see the exact opposite in this picture...

But it doesn’t stop at the small screen! Above, you saw Sissy Spacek in “Carrie”. This year, Chloe Grace Moretz played the same character in a remake of the film. Now, what about THIS Carrie, or girl for that matter, looks plain and nerdy? Absolutely nothing.

Then there’s the beautiful Sarah Hyland, of “Modern Family” fame. She plays hot, sexually active Haley on the show…

…yet, in the upcoming “Vampire Academy” movie, she’s playing a nerd. Short, curly hair and glasses doesn’t exactly hide much…

So what happened between the 80s and mid-90s, then from the mid-90s to now, that changed the way Hollywood portrayed nerds to the viewing public? Easy answer: pop culture and Americans’ obsession with attractiveness. In the course of a single day, we could easily see over a dozen people who may be “not-so-pleasing to the eye”, but God forbid we see it in our films and TV shows! We now live in a world where idiot critics could go on unnecessary diatribes about overweight actresses’ looks; where gossip rags make you choose “Who Wore It Better”; where magazines give you the Sexiest Man Alive and The Top 100 Hottest Women; where celebrities now hock every single consumer product known to man to get people to buy it, instead of “everyday people” who look like the majority of America.

Could you imagine what “Revenge of the Nerds” would have looked like with Tyler Posey and Zachary Levi playing the brothers? Not unless they were playing the popular frat guys! What about Sarah Hyland and Chloe Grace Moretz playing the girls of “Square Pegs”? Not on your life. Just because someone isn’t considered hot doesn’t mean they’re unattractive. In fact, it’s just feeding into the larger issue of body image for those who don’t look like these “beautiful creatures”. And even worse? The shows that are doing this the most are targeted towards teenaged girls…and we all know how comfortable they are with their bodies…

So hey, Hollywood? Instead of feeding into the machine, maybe you could bring forth people who look like everyone else…not the 1% of “hot people” who step into acting. They’re a dime a dozen. But the rest of us “ordinary” folk? We’re legion. There’s a reason why people like Melissa McCarthy and the guys from “Big Bang Theory” are so popular. It’s not a fluke. “Nerdy” no longer connotes glasses, pen protectors, or awkward social behavior. It’s a way of life. And it’s about time Hollywood start showing it, and the American public start demanding it.